1. |
Hey Mr. Johnson!
02:35
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Hey Mr. Johnson! Won't you sign my paycheck? I've been waiting here forever and I got a reservation but nothing ever happens when you're doing it wrong, singing your songs to the old man on the bench. I'm sitting here with a monkey wrench and I'm waiting for some answers.. Hey Mr. Johnson! Won't you sign my paycheck? I've been waiting here forever and I'm running out of patience, but Nothing ever happens when you're doing nothing sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog. Hey man! Where did it all go wrong? I don't know at all.. nothing ever happens when you're doing it wrong.
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2. |
Army/Navy Game
02:34
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In my opinion, the army beat the navy. It was a close game see, 23-20.
All of the players, if they get the safety, extra 2 points maybe.. I don't know what they see in it.
The coaches wife in the stands, new hat on her head, a drink in her cup, its just a sport.
In my opinion, the army beat the navy. It was a close game see, 23-20.
If they miss the safety, I will turn to jimmy, ask him what he thinks of me. Why aren't I popular?
We got all burgers, no buns, and we're all out of beer and I'm feeling so sick.. what's going on?
And all of your friends will let you down.
Its in my opinion, the army beat the navy. It was a close game see, 23-20.
The fullback played 100 yards of goal line. He missed the play fake. He missed the wide receiver.
I left my kid at the dance. He's been there for days. I don't know what I've been thinking. Go and fight!
And all of your friends will let you down.
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3. |
I Always Lose
02:45
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When it comes to love, I always lose.
When it comes to friends, I poorly choose.
Its been this way since I don't know when
and here comes the fire, I must get in.
I think times expired in outer space
cause I lost my attraction to your face.
The man in the window, he knows his place.
Don't drink from that bottle, its mind control.
Its been this way since I don't know when
and here comes the fire. I must get in.
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4. |
That's Why I Like You
02:40
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You're not a skinny girl, but that's why I like you.
And you'll never change the world, but I don't care, no..
Cause when I hit the ground, I know you'll be around, holding out your hand and a sandwich that you found. You'll always cook me food when you know I'm feeling down, oh yea...
And you're not a pretty girl, but that's why I like you.
And you'll never change the world, but I don't care, no..
Cause if I'm burned by flames,
we'll both just look the same.
And everytime I fail, you always take the blame. Everything is good when everything is strange, oh yea...
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5. |
Let's Go Dancin'
03:21
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Let's go dancin', love and romancin', Friday after work.
I'll wear my new shirt. if you don't like it,
I'll change into something else...
Cause girl you're young...
You should get out and have fun.
This world's so crazy, kids having babies,
dogs driving round in cars...
I miss your smile, I have for a while.
Makes me wonder if you smile at all.
Cause girl you're young, you should get out.
You should be drinkin',smokin', running your mouth.
It's true...
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6. |
Spot on my Mattress
02:19
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There's a spot on my mattress,
reserved just for fat chicks
and its been slanting down
like a big unhappy frown, oh yea.
And my bed is filled with food crumbs,
soda cans and condoms,
and my poor mom is always
the one cleaning up.
Oh yeah!
Big girl, don't lie to me.
I know you ate the cake
my mom started to bake for us yesterday.
Big girl, big girl!
"Attention everyone! We've got a big girl in the room. Yes, its a genuine big girl!"
Repeat Verse/Chorus
"Attention everyone! We've got a big girl in the room. Shut down the kitchen and put a lock on the pantry!"
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7. |
Fucking A Bear
01:34
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From the moment we touched,
I loved you so much
even though you said
I'm like fucking a bear.
I guess it was all the hair...
I'm just glad you didn't care...
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8. |
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9. |
Jed's Song
02:09
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Looks like daddy crashed the truck again.
Mama's passed out on the lawn.
And old grandma, she's in the kitchen,
singing Hank Williams songs...
Talkin' bout the Civil War and shit
And how she was part of it
And I said Grandma that was
Fifty years before you was even born.
Yea, I think I'm gonna go back to college,
read a book or two.
Maybe make friends with a Native American (how)
An Eskimo, or a Jew.
And we can go to some sorta club together,
And I'll wear a sweater
Shit, I might even buy a tie.
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10. |
One & One
03:35
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If one and one makes two (They Do!)
I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna catch you on the back porch dead,
With an arrow through your head.
I'm as happy as I wanna be (He He)
Nothing ever gets to me.
I'm gonna do it right this time.
Gonna make you change your mind
And come back home.
(This won't be like anything you've seen before watching friends)
If one and one makes two (They Do!)
I'll tell ya that our love ain't through.
It's stronger than a lightning bolt.
It always packs a jolt.
But they tell ya that a man can't change (no way)
That he's always gonna stay the same,
But I'm pretty sure we'll both agree
That loves a mystery...it is.
(No, This won't be like anything you've seen before watching Friends, on NBC.)
If one and one makes two
Please tell me what I have do
So I don't wind up in a nursing home,
Urine stained with brittle bones.
If five and five makes ten (zài jiàn)
Meet me where the sidewalk ends
And i'll love ya til the end of time,
Or until I lose my mind and die...
(This won't be like anything you've seen before watching Friends, on NBC.)
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11. |
Please Don't Leave Me
01:03
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Please don't leave me now
Cause you're the only one I have
And everyone around here
Seems to have left me but my dad,
Finally started calling, but it only makes me sad.
The end is coming soon
Cause I can see it in your eyes.
Yellow, Green, and Blue show me that you're telling lies. You always wear a smile, but I think it's a disguise.
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12. |
Lady On The Trampoline
03:46
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The lady on the trampoline (what she say?)
Said that she loved me,
But she don't know me like I know myself.
Cause I'm into bad things (very, very bad things)
Like strip clubs and gambling
And smoking in parking lots all by myself.
If I throw you a bone, will you leave me alone?
(Just leave me alone)
Lately, when I call on the phone,
I think of bad dreams when I'm all alone.
I think of cold and dark times
Sleeping in your bed, your bed..
And hideway, my night is seen,
The green grass grows all around in a stream
And when the night is floating
Like a Halloween sound, screaming out from the doormat you stand on (How do you feel?)
I feel like crying, crying to the lord Jesus Christ
and if I hold my hands tight maybe it'll be alright.
If I throw you a bone, will you leave me alone?
I don't wanna die alone, by my phone,
with my pills and my little dog.
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